An Unwelcome Visitor

     I'm sorry to have to report that life has not been running smoothly, here in
The Kingdom Of The Animals, and that discord is particularly true in my own,
disrupted neighborhood.  For over a year now, the angry bickering among the
various species has been growing louder with each passing day and night.
     The problems have all been created by an annoying and repulsive newcomer,
who burrowed into our neighborhood last year.  I am referring, of course, to the
tantrum prone creature known to his burrow-mates as Donald John Skunk,
( or as he likes to say, Don Juan, because he considers himself irresistible to the
opposite sex ).   I haven't said much about him lately, because I try to avoid
seeing or smelling or thinking about him, as much as possible.  But avoiding him
is impossible, because he is a constant plague of self-aggrandizement, as well
as contempt for anyone who disagrees with his opinions, even though he is
hopelessly inept.  He even goes around in the night, chirping out his favorite
bird-calls, but of course the birds never believe them, because the calls are never
correct.
     Those of you who are familiar with this blog, may recall that my little, thespian
friend, Horatio Hamster, came by a couple of times last fall, to warn of the unknown
consequences of allowing a skunk to become an entrenched resident here. The
first warning, which he delivered, in his role as western law-man, Horatio Hopalong
Hamster, fell on deaf ears, furry or not.  He gave us a second warning, when he
stopped by, dressed for his role in Dickens's Christmas Carol, at the local Quadruped
Playhouse.  Donald John had been chosen to play the lead role as Ebeneezer Scrooge,
because the rest of the cast members assumed that such a naturally, self-centered,
mean-spirited and greedy individual, would fit the role perfectly.  But of course,
Donald had failed miserably, because of his lack of experience on stage.
     Donald leaves his stench behind him wherever he goes, so I have tried to avoid
contact with him, as much as possible.  I have kept my doors shut and locked,
and I don't respond if he rings my bell.  But, unfortunately, on a nice warm day
recently, I made the mistake of leaving my studio window open, and along came
Donald, poking his head in, to deliver some more of his tiresome rants and raves.
I was glad that the window was high enough off of the ground, that he couldn't
crawl inside!
     At first I thought that he was going to ask me to paint his portrait again, a request
which I have resisted previously, because I knew that I couldn't stand to spend that
much time in the same room with him.  But still he persists, because he loves to be
portrayed in a flattering light.  He considers himself to be quite the dapper skunk-about-
town.  He seems to be especially proud of his strawberry-blond beret and his extra-
long, red neckties, because he never leaves his borrow without them.
     But instead of making the expected request, he said that he was just stopping by
to set the record straight, about what he called some nasty rumors going on about him.
And thus, without pausing for questions or rebuttal, he launched into his endless tirade
about what he viewed as all the injustices in The Kingdom Of The Animals, beginning
with the obvious question of his personal odor.


          "All those stories going around, that I stink, and that I behave offensively toward
     those of the opposite gender, are all lies, told by crooked, lying, lie tellers!......None 
     of them are true!........I'm the only one who tells the truth!......Believe me!......They 
     should all be locked up for spreading false stories!.......I"m going to sue all of them....
     as soon as I find the time........and get them locked up!...... And we need to build 
     more jails, for all these foreign, thieving animals that are sneaking through our fences
     and into our neighborhood!.......Committing all kinds of crimes!..... Those chipmunks 
     down the street, for example, coming into our yards, and taking all our acorns!.......
     You can tell they are bad hombres, because their stripes are the wrong color!.......
     And what about those roadrunners?....We need to get them back across the road, 
     where they belong!.......Along with these ducks, flying into the neighborhood, from 
     who-knows-where, and using our ponds, and stinking up the place!.......We need 
     to get them out of here, and make the neighborhood smell great again!........ "  


     That was about the time that his stench was becoming so unbearable that I had to
shut the window while he was still talking.  But I could see that he went right on with
his rants, even after I could no longer hear what he was saying.   Don Juan Skunk is so
infatuated with the sound of his own voice, that he often neglects to notice that no one
is listening to him.